I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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