Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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