i think my mom watched the whole time
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
