This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
