I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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