How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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