So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
