when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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