Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
