She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
