I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
