You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
