What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
