dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
