My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
