Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
