You're my little dorito
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
