It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
