I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
