I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I have demons in me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
