Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
