It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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