and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
as a side note pls kill me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
