Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
