Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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