plz talk dirty to me
Fuck appropriateness.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
