Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
