why didn't you poke me back
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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