I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
