i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
