Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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