apparently the secret to your success is patron
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
