Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When are your genitals available?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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