i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
