Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Everyone says I win the strip club
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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