literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
