I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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