tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My penis needs a shock collar
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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