someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
