Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
