I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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