why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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