Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
