I want to stick my p in your. b.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
