I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
