Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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