I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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