Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
