I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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