this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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