i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
