If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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