would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
