I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
