"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
