Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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